Two persons, not two roles to perform
Man and woman are both created in the image of God, equal in dignity, and called to communion. Marriage does not erase either person's identity, voice, or personal responsibility; love helps each become more fully and maturely who he or she is.
Marriage is a vocation, not an automatic solution to loneliness, family pressure, pregnancy, financial hardship, or personal insecurity. A wedding can be postponed; freedom and truth may never be set aside.
Suggested reading: Genesis 1:26-28 and John 15:9-17. The human person was created to love, and Jesus shows that mature love gives of itself while remaining free.
Bring your real story into preparation
Each person brings a family history, patterns of attachment, experiences of brokenness, faith, health, debts, and dreams. What remains unspoken will not disappear after the wedding; good preparation creates a safe place to bring the truth into the light.
If I set aside pressure about age, the wedding date, public opinion, and expenses already paid, why do I still freely choose this person and married life?
Each person separately writes three things: what I hope; what I fear; what I have not yet said. Arrange a conversation with no phones or interruptions, and identify what needs to be brought to a companion.
References
Path progress
Human Dignity and the Vocation to Love
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