No one can consent in another's place
The consent of the two persons who are capable of marrying brings marriage into being. Consent must be a human act made with sufficient knowledge and freedom, not compelled by force or grave fear imposed from outside.
Pregnancy, expenses already paid, promises made to family, or fear of losing face must not be used to force a wedding. A prior bond, children, serious debt, addiction, illness, or an intention to exclude children or fidelity are matters that must not be concealed before marriage.
Suggested reading: Matthew 5:33-37 and John 10:10-18. A “yes” spoken in love must be truthful and free, following Christ, who gives himself willingly.
Conflict is different from abuse
Abuse includes threats, isolation, surveillance, control of money, sexual coercion, humiliation, or physical injury. This is not a “cross one must bear.” When danger is present, prioritize a safety plan, professional help, and responsible authorities; do not use ordinary couple communication techniques as though both parties had equal power.
Can I say “I am not ready yet” and still be safe? Is there something I am afraid to disclose because the other person might threaten me, retaliate, or call off the wedding?
Each person should meet separately with a companion to confirm freedom. If there is controlling behavior or abuse, do not confront the other person alone; make a safety plan with someone trustworthy and an appropriate professional service.
References
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Free Love and Readiness for Marriage
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