Protecting life and dignity does not betray marriage
Physical, sexual, or psychological abuse and coercive control are grave matters. Canon law recognizes serious danger to the body or spirit of a spouse or children as a legitimate cause for leaving; when delay itself creates danger, it may be necessary to leave immediately.
In immediate danger, seek a safe place and contact local emergency services. Do not announce a plan to leave if doing so increases the risk. Pastoral, medical, legal, and psychological services have different roles and may need to work together.
Signs that should not be kept secret
Threatening suicide to keep a partner from leaving, dangerous driving, strangulation, forced sex, total control of money, isolation from family, device surveillance, and the use of children to threaten someone all require professional assessment, not merely a promise to change.
Forgiveness does not mean disregarding the law, returning immediately, reconciling as a couple, or abandoning boundaries. Accountability, safety, and verified change are distinct matters.
Am I or the other person so afraid of the partner's reaction that we change our behavior, hide our needs, or lose contact with supportive people?
Each person privately saves three contacts: a trustworthy person, a pastoral leader, and a professional or emergency service where you live. If there is risk, make an individual safety plan rather than doing a couple exercise.
References
Path progress
Safety and Help in a Crisis
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